Friday, January 6, 2017

Her wait is over

She knew there was someone outside the door,
Her hand was on the door knob,
Something stopped her from opening it.
She closed her eyes,
rested both her hands on the door,
There was complete silence on the other side,
Still she sensed someone's presence,
She couldn't hear anything,
Except her own heart beats.
She was waiting for the knock,
Why is she waiting?
She was sure someone's out there,
Ever felt that feeling?
She couldn't wait anymore,
She snapped open her eyes,
Turned around the door knob,
Looked straight into it's eyes, and said
"Hey there, Opportunity!
Why didn't you knock?"
With it's classic wicked grin said,
"Sometimes you need to find me,
and pull me inside"

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Are you listening?

WOW! It feels so good to be alone. Alone but not lonely. Solitude is bliss. I am not talking to you, the one reading this. I am talking to myself. I am blabbering inside my head. I just want to get it out from inside, this burden on my chest so that I could give a sigh of relief. I have been talking with self a lot. I always have though. Does everyone do the same? I cannot stop thinking. My thoughts are all around inside me but not coming out. It's past 11 and I should probably be sleeping but I don't want even though my eyes are heavy.

I have lost many things in past few years. My muse. My writing. My reading. My calm. My inner peace. Well I look like whole world's peace is inside me but dissect me I am not less than a turmoil.

I cannot shout in anger. If I do that's not me. I like to be silent. Very few know this about me. I am blessed to have those and those are not blood relations or the ones tied knot to. Some relationship do not require label to define. At least for me.

Speaking of that my reading is going quite well this year. It was so difficult to even read a chapter with all the distractions. I have left so many books unread in between. The books I picked this year, am glad I read them.

My thoughts and decisions are struggling between emotions and intellect. I am going to let intellect win this time. Cause emotions have broken me down to pieces, the pieces I couldn't find even in light. The pieces which were crushed to never be found again.

I have let time slipped from me. Many a times, Time mocking me. Teasing me. I still do not have hold on it, but I am walking or rather living hand in hand with Time.

Why is it so difficult, it feels lame even to talk about it. The greys in my hair speaks of my fight and struggle, the eyes screams of suffering only to those who can hear them, my hands speaks of the hard work which have gone in vain and my feet speaks about the path taken wrong.

Some people get abusive when in anger wonder how the f word, BC, MC words make them feel better. Sometimes I think why I don't drink. I would have been able to drown in it and not worrying about anything. But then again I don't want to be a raging alcoholic.

It's so easy to pen down while listening music. Every beat releases the words and here comes the peace.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Happy Birthday My Friend

Many many happy returns of the day my crazy, stupid, dumb, weird friend.

I would not say 'May God bless' you due to recent circumstances.

(You may call me narcissist)I say I bless you with all the happiness, wealth and success. Health is in your hands, my blessings won't work in that zone.

You do have love in life from your family, friends including me. Let's not talk about the clichéd 'Love'.

I had fallen in love with your writing and I miss reading something new from you. Your nature of 'giving' reflects in your writings too.

I am happy we met a day before your birthday. And No I may not be able to gift you a mobile or that luxurious car but I give my word I will stand by you in need.

Do not doubt on my given word, I said it truthfully as I allowed you smoking in front of me even though I hate it.

I do not fear on talking about anything in front of you as you don't judge me like others do.

Life is good having a friend like you.

Also do remember, I will never hesitate to slap you  in case if you do something hazardous.

Have a wonderful life and please EAT don't stay bony!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Don't Love Me 2.0

She found herself smiling in the mirror after so so long. It wasn't because of him. He snatched away her smile, her happiness and most strangely her inner peace.

The blood curdling anger creeped in her veins leaving her scarred. Scars which no one could see. How come no one noticed that she isn't happy?

But surprisingly the reason behind this smile was someone else. She did not question herself "Is this feeling wrong?" No! Because she had risen above all the societal norms.
She didn't crave for love anymore. She need not. The smile wasn't love but simply a gesture of kindness and understanding from someone.

Her message for him- "Don't Love me. Don't Love me anymore."

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Life is not easy, because it was never meant to be easy!

I am staring at a blank page. To write, or not to! 

I just want to splurge this page with beautiful indigo ink. This alluring ink shall enhance the beauty of a blank page. Yes! A page filled with random words, sentences, phrases, verses, and many more. I love such page, not a blank one. What does a blank page makes you think of? Sadness, calm or serenity? A book has a power to hold on everything in this universe into it. A story, fantasy, fairytale, literature!

Let it be the serene smell of a new book, or old one, it has always fascinated me. How many of us write a journal on a daily basis? Many, not many or most of us? Writing is a vent. It releases those blocked emotions deep inside one’s mind. I had written a phase of my life in a dairy. The ups and downs, the one’s whom I liked or disliked, the secret desire, wishes, ugly truth. I had enclosed all my bitter-sweet memories. To tear it one day! Yes! I did tear each and every page of that journal. Why? I had no answer to the questions it might have raised. (In case if you read it) I am not answerable to anyone for my emotions or reactions.

Can one really become like a protagonist portrayed in a fiction? Can someone be an Ann Veronica? Can someone be a Dominique from The Fountainhead? Beautiful, Charming and most of all Bold/Courageous! Surely there are real life heroes around us. We just haven’t met them.

You cannot judge someone the way they look or by the life they live. You don’t have the right to! Who knows the beautiful kohl eyes must have cried their heart out!

I complain about my life most of the time. Does anyone here do the same? Life’s beauty lies in imperfection. What is the point of living if we have attained perfection? Each day we live, we work; we earn to have a better tomorrow.

Every time I feel distressed, I make myself remind the sayings of Einstein, Shakespeare, Buddha, Sheldon and Dr.Brennan (yes, they are the most rational characters).

Life is not easy, because it was never meant to be easy! But Life can be beautiful. How? I am sure you can answer it. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

"Don't love me..." 1.2

She was obsessed with rain. Just as she was of the smell of a new book. Her old journal. Rebirth of some memories and a grave of few others. Rain. A gift to Her from heaven. In return she always gave a part of Hers. Sad ones. It accepted those happily. 

"Come under the umbrella. You will catch cold as always." He called out caringly. She giggled. Spreading her arms wide as wings of a phoenix. Rain kissed Her face. Just as He did. Softly. Tenderly. She sneezed and laughed. Her laughter echoed through the rain. 

"Don't love me so much so you can't live without me." She said warming herself with His closeness under the umbrella. 

 The rain crashed on Her. Hurting this time. She opened Her home. Their home. Empty. As Her Soul.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

"Don't love me..." 1.1

"You're the biggest failure of my life!" 

Shocked. Terrified. These words etched Her heart, mind and soul. She just couldn't get rid of them.

Forgetting wasn't an option. Whenever She looked in his eyes. There they were.  As clear as glass. He had said to Her once. A burden on Her life.

Thunder. Dark sky. Downpour. The train rapidly past by, soaked Her. She snapped back from past. Its honk tearing Her ears as those words had done once. A scream from Her past. She could still hear. The droplets dribbling from Her fingertips. Her soul was weeping. Bleeding.

"Don't love me so much so you would be hurt. When you expect something from me. What if I can't give it?" She had said.